It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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