I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Shame - the story of my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
