My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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