I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
