I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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