I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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