Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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