just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
