It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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