A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
