She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
