still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
