nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
