yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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