8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
