ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize