I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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