I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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