im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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