if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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