Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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