Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
