so that wasnt chicken after all
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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