The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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