After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize