Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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