Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
