i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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