What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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