I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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