you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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