Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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