did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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