my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
