I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
