She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
