So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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