that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize