I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
