Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
