my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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