He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
