The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Small penises have feelings too.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
