i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
