Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
