When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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