I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize