What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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