He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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