ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
