I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
