The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
jump out the window naked night went bad
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