i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
