I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I will be naked everywhere
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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