His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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