i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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