HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
